The Long-Term Relationship

Lately, I have been thinking about the reality of finding a Long-Term Relationship within BDSM. I wonder if this is a rarity, or if it's something that someone, anyone like you or I, can find with ease. Are we just so limited, and biased in our ways that we can't seem to find "love" the way "vanilla" couples do? Does the depth of passion within the exchange of D/s cause our fire to be exhausted, and the cold air to sink back into our bones? Is anyone interested in such control and direction in a relationship really suited for anything short of their fairy-tale dreams?

I don't know why I've been thinking about this so much. I'm not really a "hopeless romantic" by any stretch of the term, I'm young, I get laid, I'm not nearing a mid-life crisis, I'm not trapped in a vanilla relationship, I'm attractive, I'm confident, and I lead an otherwise fulfilling life. So, where do these dreadful dreams of "The Long-Term Relationship" come from? I suppose it's just that desire for such unlimited, such pure, complete, and inexhaustible acceptance from another human being that causes me to crave this sort of relationship.

I've never been the type to go into a relationship with the explicit notion that it's going to become something exclusively long-term. Of the last three people I've fucked or fooled around with, not a single one of them has held the label of "boyfriend" or "Master". One was a random Dom who I didn't get to know enough about before meeting up with, the second is a dear friend who shares many common interests but poses the issue of a large age gap, and the third was just a fuck while his slave was out of town at a concert series. I've been hurt in relationships. I've been snubbed, and trampled, and obliterated. I suppose I just refuse to let that happen anymore.

I'm really not much for the "I love you, Billy!" "I love you too, pumpkin!" type set up. I've never been one for the ideals that "love" presents. The word "love", in my mind, is the most absolutely frightening word in the entire English dictionary. But, clearly, love is a huge issue in a LTR. There needs to be love to keep two (or more, I'm not judging :P ) people in a long, committed relationship. That foundation needs to exist, because without it at least one member of the relationship is going to be left with some sort of issue. Be it trust, loneliness, or feeling ignored. I know that love is the strongest, most binding force within a relationship. I also know that, if I found someone who I felt very connected with, that I would be willing to love them. But would they ever love me back?

I suppose when I boil everything down, I see why I'm so daunted, and yet interested in, the LTR. The LTR represents lasting acceptance, something that I really do want to one day experience. The LTR also scares me to within an inch of my life, because I'm so afraid that when I find someone to truly love, that they won't feel the same way.

Is the long term relationship possible for me? Sure, I think it's possible for everyone. Will it be easy to find someone who I connect with on every possible level? No. It will be hard. But I'm not willing to stifle who I am for the sake of the acceptance of anyone else. I'd rather never be in a true "relationship", than be in a relationship that isn't true.

Sorry for rambling,
-Violet.