Tonight I've been in a strange mindset, too much pot, not enough food, and too little socialization have led my mind to a frightening place. When I saw that a D-type friend of mine was online tonight, I attempted to make conversation-- It's polite to do so, right? I know that there's a chance that he'll read this entry, and be none too pleased-- But this is my medium. If he doesn't want to read this, he can click the red X at the top right-hand corner of his screen.
When regular conversation became one-sided and weird, I just cut myself off, and very straight-forward, asked him if he would like me to piss off. He replied that a friend was having some issues, and I just gave up. I've been talking to this particular friend since June, and our acquaintanceship has been completely strange. Talking, not talking. Meeting up, not meeting up. There are so many disrespectful questions that flit over my tongue-- All of which I am too afraid to ask. Something draws me to him as a person, but I feel that many half-truths are not making a whole in this situation. There's always an excuse for everything-- And I accept that, but I just wish he would be straightforward. I can handle it. I'm a big girl, with big-girl panties and everything. I can handle words, no matter how blunt. My fetish for truth is endless. I'd rather someone tell me to fuck off, than never respond at all.
Am I really so alone in this?
-Violet.
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